Thursday, September 10, 2009

My Tip of the Day

As a service to my loyal readers, and anyone who else who has the misfortune of stumbling across this blog, I will share with you some of my “tech” tips, because that’s the kind of guy that I am.

Tech Tip: So you took some video on that fancy camera phone thingy of yours. Somehow, you have managed to get the video off of the phone, either by mailing it to yourself or downloading it from the phone with a data cable. You have once again proved that the village you came from DOES NOT miss you. If you don’t get that joke, than your village more then likely does miss you and you should see how they are getting along without you. Write them a post card with a crayon or something.

Moving on….

So you’re all proud of yourself, and now you go to open your video, and low and behold, it plays, but there is no sound. What gives????

It turns out that most camera phones use a semi-proprietary audio codec (thats tech speak for “format”) that Windows Media Player doesn’t recognize. The CODEC is called SAMR. I dont know what it means, and frankly I dont care. I am not an “audiofile.” The bottom line is that you got video with no sound. Not good.

There’s a variety of ways to fix the sound problem. You can visit You upload your video to the site and the site will do the conversion for you. However, I think you are limited to five free conversions before you are required to upgrade to the premium version.

The second alternative is to use a free piece of software called Mobile Media Convertor. It works on the same premise as the website I listed above. You load your video, you pick the output format, and BAM, you got yourself a video with sound. Nice. You can also use this site to upload videos of various formats and convert them to a format called 3GP. 3GP is the format that iPod’s use to play video. AKA you downloaded a copy of your favorite TV show, Rock of Love, and now you desperately need to watch on your iPod. BAM! I have solved your problem. Anytime I can share my love of Brett Michaels, I feel I have done the world a favor.

So now you can enjoy your precious videos of you at the bar with your idiot friends stumbling around on the street in a drunken stupor, or share that cute video snippet you took of your cat, Mr. Peepers, trying to mount your cute little terrier. Let’s be honest – videos of drunken tomfoolery really dont tell the whole story unless there is sound, because I for one hate to miss out on all of the witty banter that only a group of d-bag white boys sh*t-faced on Coors Light can produce at 2:30 am standing outside of the local watering hole.

Tech Tip: If you use a laptop, go spend $20 and buy a laptop cooler. A laptop cooler is a small laptop base with fans that are powered by one of your PC’s USB laptop ports. Laptops generate alot of heat. You got alot of circuitry crammed into a very small space. Just like your car, too much heat is bad. You’ll over heat the PC. Overheat the PC and you could possibly ruin your processor or motherboard. So keep that sucker cool with a laptop cooler. And there is a special added bonus using a laptop cooler: If you have ever worked on your laptop while it’s actually on your lap, you’ll probably wind up with a case of scorched b*lls. Plop that laptop on the cooler, and watch all of your internet porn with cooking the fellas down below. Enjoy!

You can get them just about anywhere now – Target, Walmart, etc.

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