Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Welcome Home - The Recap, Part I

I got the chance to take a trip back to Delco this weekend past and surprisingly, there were some things that I've come to realize now that I have had the chance to put a significant chunk of time into the Bay Area.

Warning: some of what I am to say will probably be offensive, perhaps even incendiary, especially to the Delco natives, which I imagine is where most if not all of the five people who actual read this reside.

Delco is a dump. Well, some of it.

There, I said it. Don't read to much into, because there are some qualifiers. I don't hate Delco. So hear me out.

It's a dump relative to where I currently live in Northern California. You can argue the point to your heart's content, but let's be absolutely clear on this one thing before we go any further: Northern California is beautiful. It is one of the most beautiful places in North America. Not the most beautiful, but definitely, hands down, a much more scenic place to live than Delaware County and not a by a slim margin - a very WIDE margin. Case closed, end of story. On this point, there is no debate.

Getting back on subject, let's get granular-  there are many faces of Delco. There's East Delco (Darby, UD, Folcroft, etc), there's West Delco (Glen Mills, etc) and there's the Main Line.

So I guess my comments are really in reference to East Delco. It's a dump. There are some nice parts. But overall, it's still a dump. Keep your comments to yourself. I present this to you, the reader, as an observation, not as invitation to debate why Delco is the crown jewel of the Tri-State area. A) I don't care - I've already formed my opinion and quite frankly, this is my blog and B) you know that I am right. Spend more than a week of your life trying to navigate McDade Blvd - that five mile wasteland of "Cash For Gold" storefronts and dollar stores - or Baltimore Pike, and you'll realize that I speak the truth, unless an endless stream of used car dealerships, shitty diners and multiple Targets is what you define as high-luxury living. If that's the case, do yourselves the favor and do not ever leave Delco, because you will never be happy where ever you decide to live.

So perhaps in a couple of years from now when if I decide to move back, one of my Delco acquaintances will say "yo remember dat blog entry where yous were makin' fun of Delco n' shit? What you got to say now homo?? E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!" and I will acknowledge the observation with a curt smile and a nod. Perhaps my grammar challenged acquaintance is right. Home is home. And I don't hate Delco - again, let's be clear on this. Being a dump is what gives it it's charm. I pride myself on the fact that I wasn't raised on the Main Line, that I was not given everything on a silver platter as a kid. Being from Delco has made me who I am and I wouldn't trade that set of experiences for the world. And we have Wawa. There is nothing like Wawa on the West Coast. And trust me when I tell you that there have been more times than I can count where I have had a hankering for a mediocre* hoagie only to be let down, because 7-11 doesn't make sandwiches.

So let's summarize:
  • Delco is a Dump
  • Wawa = good
  • Your mom says hello.

* Quick sidebar: Yes, Wawa Hoagies are just mediocre. Great in a pinch, but not our region's best work when it comes to sandwiches. If you think that Wawa is the yardstick by which all sandwiches should be measured against, move to Alaska, because clearly you're an idiot. 

No comments:

Post a Comment